Yo, Jude!

12 Jul

Stephen’s in the bedroom, doing his yoga and stuff. He’s dead good at the lotus position. Do I mean lotus or locust? The one where you tie your legs in a knot. Whatever!  I can’t be arsed, myself.

I’ve been thinking about that business of Stephen going off to that monastery place to see the Archbear or Archduke or whatever the silly ass calls himself.  Stephen’s dead interested in places like that, and being all deep and weird about everything, and anyway, Jude, it’s got me thinking.  The thing is, I’m a bit bored.  I won’t be seeing Tarquin at the supermarket any more coz good old Tarkers has gone and got the sack.  They caught him with a bottle of creme de menthe down his trousers.  I’m really peed off with him.  Fancy getting caught! He’s gone off to London to do modelling.

What was I saying?  Oh, yeah, about that monastery. I’ve been thinking, I might quite fancy a bit of monking. Wotcha think, Jude?  Think I’d be any good? I don’t want to do it for ever.  Just a few weeks, to see what they get up to – gardening and singing and eating porridge. It’d be fun!  I bet I could shake the Archbear up a bit.  I might be able to make something out of him.

I’ll run it past Stephen when he’s finished his yoga.




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